


it's better for you (without me)

by angxlsgrxce



Series: but i want love (just a different kind) [2]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Fluff and Angst, Light Angst, SO, The Author Regrets Nothing, but there's a happy ending, give abbie keener a tag cowards, i dunno what i'm doing, more like whump, y'all it's just angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-07
Updated: 2019-07-07
Packaged: 2020-06-24 06:31:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19718125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angxlsgrxce/pseuds/angxlsgrxce
Summary: Opening her door, she walks monotonously down the hallway to the kitchen, where she sees Tony and Harley sitting at the counter. Peter isonthe counter. All three of them are laughing, and Abbie feels a pang ofsomethingin her chest.I don’t deserve them.or, abbie doesn't realize how much she means to her family.





	it's better for you (without me)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [PeachyKeener](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PeachyKeener/gifts).



> for bb, i hope you enjoy, love!

**hawkdaughter <3: **im about to go to sleep but i know youll be waking up soon, so gmorning and i hope you have a good day! 

Abbie squints at the brightness of her phone screen, holding it inches from her face. She fumbles a hand out to the left side of her bed, reaching for her glasses and shoving them onto her nose. 

_I don’t deserve her_ , she thinks, before typing a _ <3, _ deleting it, and sending a _:)._ She groans, as a knock sounds at the door. 

“Abbs, it’s wake-time, let’s go, you’ll be late if you keep this up,” Tony calls, and Abbie can hear the unspoken “again” in his sentence. 

“Yeah, sorry, ‘m coming.” 

“Thanks, kiddo!” 

Abbie hums, and then rolls out of bed, running her fingers through her tangled hair. She stumbles through the motions of getting ready, barely thinking, and slings her backpack over her shoulder with the aura of someone who. Doesn’t. Want. To. Do. This. 

Opening her door, she walks monotonously down the hallway to the kitchen, where she sees Tony and Harley sitting at the counter. Peter is _on_ the counter. All three of them are laughing, and Abbie feels a pang of _something_ in her chest. _I_ _don’t deserve them._

She brushes it off. 

Peter looks up a minute later, spotting her still standing in the doorway. “G’morning, Abbie,” he says sleepily. Harley turns his head and grunts. Abbie allows a small smile to spread across her face.

“Morning, Pete.” 

Tony glances over, gesturing towards the stove. “There’s pancakes, help yourself.” 

Abbie bites her lip at the words, feeling something _off_ about them, but she doesn’t realize what it is until Tony says to Peter, “Alright, kiddo, off the counter.”

_Kiddo_. 

She winces without meaning to, and shrugs. “‘m not hungry.” Tony doesn’t hear her, too busy pushing Peter off the counter, and Abbie nods mentally. _It makes sense._

Harley tips forward, head falling onto Peter’s thigh. “Tony, don’t take him from me, He’s pillow.” Peter runs his fingers through Harley’s hair almost on a reflex, and Abbie watches silently. _Harley deserves this_ , she reminds herself, turning.

“I’m gonna walk to school today, I’ve got time!” she calls over her shoulder _. Pointless, they’re not listening._

Abbie doesn’t see Tony’s concerned eyes follow her out the apartment door. 

-

“Anyone know the answer to question five? Ms. Keener?”

“It’s _Stark_ ,” Abbie says, before her eyes go wide and she snaps her mouth shut. 

The physics teacher-who Abbie still hasn’t bothered to learn the name of-stares at her. “I’m sorry? What was that?”

Abbie shakes her head quickly. “I didn’t mean it, I’m sorry. The answer is-“ Abbie glances down at her notes, over to the textbook, and then up at the board, and her mind is just _empty, blank, nothing, why can’t you be smarter, this is why Tony doesn’t love you, Harley’s a genius, Peter’s a genius, why aren’t you?_

“I’m _waiting_ ,” Who Cares What Your Name Is says, and Abbie flinches, looking down and staring hard. Someone next to her writes something down on the table. Abbie slides her gaze half an inch to the right. _8.93 mph._

“Uh. 8.93 m.p.h?” she says. The classmate next to her snorts. Who Cares What Your Name Is raises an eyebrow. 

“Considering that the question had to do with the weight of a stationary object, there would be no m.p.h, Ms. _Stark_.” 

The way the teacher says the last name cuts Abbie to her core. _Are you sure you’re a Stark? You’re obviously not smart enough._

She flinches again and mutters, “Sorry.” 

Who Cares What Your Name Is hums. “Detention, this afternoon.” Abbie wants to protest, but there’d be no point. Who Cares What Your Name Is continues the lesson, and Abbie lets her head fall forward with a light _thump_ , resting on her textbook that contains useless information. She’s already got detention. She may as well sleep, right?

-

Harley finds her at lunch, his arms crossed over his chest. Abbie lifts her head, takes one look at his _protective older brother_ look and rolls her eyes. “What?”

“You got detention? And fell asleep in class? _Physics_ class? C’mon, Abbs, what would Tony say?”

_Fuck you_ , she thinks fleetingly. _I already know everything you’re thinking and I agree._

She shrugs. “’s boring. Sorry we can’t all be geniuses like you and Peter.”

Then she folds her arms on the table, using them to pillow her head for another nap. 

Harley nudges her with his foot. “Hey, you gonna eat?” His voice sounds different. Abbie can’t bring herself to care. She’s so _tired_. 

“Nah, not hungry.” 

“Abbie,” he starts, and then, “-okay.”

Biting her lip, Abbie makes a decision. She pushes herself up, standing. Harley blinks in surprise. She starts walking away- _is she walking slower than normal?_ -and Harley catches her arm. “Hey, where’re you going?”

She shrugs her arm out of his grasp. “Library. It’s quieter. I can nap easier there.” 

Harley frowns. “Abbie-“

“Look, I know you don’t actually care, so just go back to your boyfriend and leave me alone,” she snaps. She almost regrets it, but at the look of resolve in Harley’s eyes, she finds that she _doesn’t_ actually regret it. 

-

“Hey, freak, where’s your brother?”

“Yeah, where’s your _big bro_? He finally decide to leave you?”

Abbie keeps walking, running her hand over the lockers that frame the walls. “Shut up,” she says idly, just to see what’ll happen. 

What happens is this: 

  1. Someone grabs her wrist, twisting it behind her back, and then, over her head.
  2. She gets shoved against the same lockers she was tracing a path on seconds before. 
  3. A knee finds its way to the soft part of her stomach. _Once, twice, three times._
  4. Abbie blocks out the pain, and thinks of the bruises she’ll have tomorrow. 
  5. Someone makes a noise, and the two people scatter. 



Abbie crumples to the floor, landing on her hands and knees. Someone rushes to her side, helping her up. Abbie blinks up at them.

“Flash?” she asks confusedly. 

Flash stares at her, and Abbie squints, her vision blurry-she must have lost her glasses somewhere. _Are those tears in his eyes?_ “Hey, Abbie-woah-“

And then everything goes black. 

-

“Flash? What’s going on, what’s wrong with Abbie?”

“I don’t know, I just found her and she fell and-“

“Peter, call Tony. _Now_. give her to me, Flash.”

“I don’t know if we should move her-“

“Eugene, she’s my fucking sister. give her to me.” Abbie is jostled slightly as Flash’s arms become Harley’s, wrapped securely around her. “Hey, Abbs, it’s gonna be okay, I’ve got you.”

“Tony’s on his way, he’ll be here-“

“I’m here, we’re going to the hospital. Harley, I need to fly her there, you have to let her go.”

“I can’t-“

“Kiddo, _please_ , just give her to me.”

And then Harley’s arms become metal, and Abbie is flying. 

_Why are you so concerned? I thought this was better._

-

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

“-been like this for a while, Tony.”

“You think I haven’t noticed? She’s my _kid_. Of course I’ve noticed. I was gonna say something when she got back from school, but-“

“It’s not your fault, Dad.”

“Of course it is. I’m her fucking father. I should’ve been paying closer attention.” _Not your fault, it’s mine, it’s mine, I’m not good enough._

Abbie keeps her eyes closed. She can’t find the strength to open them. Tony sighs. 

“Of course it’s my fucking fault. She hasn’t been eating, she barely sleeps. _God_ , how could I have let her do this?”

Abbie feels Tony’s hand grasp hers. “Kiddo, if you can hear me, I’m so sorry. please come back to me. I love you, so fucking much, Abbie.”

_No you don’t_. 

Abbie squeezes Tony’s hand lightly. She’s too tired to do anything else. The darkness consumes her once again, just as Tony squeezes her hand back. 

-

“Please, Abbie. I’m so sorry. We need you back, kiddo. We’re falling apart without you. Harley’s not sleeping, Peter’s not working, Pepper can’t even focus. _I_ need you back. I love you so much, Abbster.”

Tony presses a kiss to her forehead. “C’mon, _polpetta,_ come back to me. _Please_.”

-

“Abbie. fuck. I just. you’re my sister, Abbie, I can’t lose you, I never want to lose you, please, Abbie, wake up. Wake _up_.” Harley’s voice raises to a scream. “ _Just_ _wake_ _up_.” 

“Harley-“

“ _What?_ ” 

Peter moves into the room, wrapping his arms around Harley from behind. “You’re gonna wake Tony up,” he says quietly. 

“It’s not _Tony_ who needs to wake up,” Harley says, and then both of them are crying. 

Abbie sleeps on. 

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

-

“Fuck, my dad just-I just heard-is she okay-please someone tell me if she’s okay-“

“Lila?” Tony looks up, his eyes widening. 

“I came as soon as I heard, is she okay?” Lila’s face is streaked with tears. 

“Objectively speaking, yes. But she’s not-she’s not waking up.” 

“ _Fuck_.”

Tony laughs without humor. “Yeah, you’ve got that right, kid.” 

Lila sits down, her shoulders shaking. 

“Hey, Iron Daughter,” she whispers. “it’s Lila. I’m sorry I left. I’m back now. I’m not-I’m not leaving again. Please don’t-“ Her breath hitches with a sob. “Please don’t leave me.”

Tony watches silently as Lila brings Abbie’s left hand to her lips; Abbie’s right hand has been held by Tony’s for the past four days.

\- 

_Darkness, falling, darkness, there’s a light. Move towards the light. You can do it._

-

“Abbie, please come back.”

-

“Abbie, we miss you.”

-

“Abbie, I love you.”

-

“Abbie-“

-

“Kiddo-“

-

_Light._

-

Abbie blinks awake, the bright lights making spots dance in front of her eyes. “Tony?” she whispers. Tony’s sitting on her right side, his head resting on the bed. “Tony?”

He lifts his head, and upon seeing her, his eyes fill with tears. He grips her hand tighter. “Hey, kiddo,” he breathes out, his voice almost reverent. “I missed you.”

“Wh-what happened?” 

Tony moves closer, brushing a stray piece of hair from her eyes. “You weren’t being too healthy, were you?”

_Oh._

“Y-yeah. Sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry, kiddo. But you gotta-you gotta take better care of yourself, sweetheart. You really scared me. You scared all of us.”

“Sor-“ Tony shushes her, and she giggles. “Okay.” She tries to push herself up, arms shaking. Tony lets go of her hand- _for the first time in five days_ -to help her, and he maneuvers her into a sitting position. 

“Good?”

“Yeah. Wh-where are we?”

“Tower Medbay. Fri, can you tell everyone she’s awake?”

“Sorry,” Abbie says again, softly. Tony shakes his head. 

“No, _I’m_ sorry. I should have been better. We almost lost you, Abbie.”

“Th-that’s the thing. Why were you so worried? You have Peter and Harley, what’s the big deal if you lost me?”

Silence fills the room. Tony stares at her. 

_Heartbroken. He’s heartbroken._

“Abbie. _No_. How could you-why would you think that?”

Abbie shrugs. “It makes sense. I’m not smart enough, I’m not strong enough-“

“Shut up.” 

Abbie flinches. 

“No, I’m sorry, but I can’t let you talk about yourself like that. You are _perfect._ You don’t need to have a science brain, you don’t need to be smart, because I love you _regardless_. A parent loves their kids no matter what.”

“But. I’m not really your kid, ya know? It’s always been you and Peter and Harley. No Abbie in the equation. And so if I was gone, it’d be okay. You’d just. Rebuild.” 

Tony starts to cry, and Abbie looks up at him, shocked. 

“Abbie, you're not something that I can just- _rebuild_. You're my _kid._ I can't just _replace_ you.” 

“Tony-“ 

“Abbie. Don’t try to argue with me. _Sweetheart._ I love you.”

Abbie blinks the tears out of her own eyes, falling into Tony’s arms. 

“I love you too. Dad.”

**Author's Note:**

> i hope all of you liked it, lemme know what you thought! 
> 
> find me on [tumblr](https://charliebradburyismyspirit-animal.tumblr.com/)!


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